Pony, Hortense, Facsism, Kent

Hortense was a viscious little girl with a squinty eye, lisp and plaits. Her mother once tried to cut her hair, but she bit her, called her a mithering old wee drinker, threw her pants in the air and ran away from home. She eventually joined a band of travelling knife sharpeners and lived in a layby off the A3 near maidstone kent, with her Pony, skimbles, whom she kept in a state of agitation and malice by administration of corriander enemas. From here she started wearing brown tights and calling for rascial intolerence forming a deeply unpleasent band of reprobates acheiving infamy as the notorius suffolk pegburners.The rest can be read in PF gullets classic on the subject " charred pegs and ponies: a study of hate in the shires"

Crewe, Epsilon, Three legged dog, Krisna

Once upon a time there lived a three legged dog called Epsilon. He was 3 legged was because he used to be a train spotter. His favourite observation point was obviously Crewe. There were always lots of dogs and people jostling for the best place on the platform to watch the trains, and the inveviatable happened. Epsilon got pushed on the track right infront of the 5.45 intercity express to Preston.Well bugger me if he hadn't lost one of his legs. A few weeks later a krishna bloke was observing the sunset beyond the rail sheds and contemplating wether to go to Glastonbury again this year, ( last year his flip flops had got really muddy and someone had painted wanker on the side of his sacred cow) when he spotted a foreign body on the track. "That looks like a delicious chicken leg" he thought. "Fuck this krishna malaki" he said and in a flash he had wolfed down the dogs leg which he mistakenly took to be chicken and pegged it to tower hamlets to become a member of the BNP.

Park+Ride, Trixy the Rabbit, Genocide, Moss

Trixy the rabbit had big schemes. She was bored of the hum drum out in the fields. Bored of chewing limp leaves and sleeping on that infernally smelly bed of moss. It was most definately the root of her repeated attacks of rhinitus. Trixy wanted out. After several weeks of research, fuelled by laudenum ( her mum was a whiz in the kitchen) she finished her application to the local council to start a local park and ride scheme with special buses adapted to be driven by even the smallest mixy-ridden rabbit. It was a great proposal, and certain to win a substantial grant. However, by the time the application was received, the local farmer had managed to exterminate the entire local rabbit population, including trixy.

Mead, Barnstaple, Video 2000, Existentialism

Mead was the beautiful daughter of the king of Barnstable. her father was a stinking fat bourgoise pig, she hated him not only because of his attitudes, but because of giving her the name of his favourite drink (she should think herself bloody lucky she wasn't called fig juice!) Anyway, mead fancied herself as a bit of an excentric and hung around with various weird arty types, going to parties and exhibitions. As an art peice she desided to collect old and deffunct video tapes. she did this sole activity for 10 years dressed completely in black with a stuffed crow on her head, she had 1999. she only need one more to complete her target of 2000 , roaming the hill near ner home she cae upon a badger set that she had never noticed befor, thats strange she thought, i've never seen this here before, hello hello is there any body there? She looked through the door of the set only to see the most amaszing sight, three baby badgers all watching emanuelle 3-D with 3-D glasses on I'll have that , you are far to you to be watching sort porn there she had it her video 2000 Mead wandered off trying to decide what her next art peice would be mmm maybe I'll start collecting baby badgers and make them star in my new video, she mused, naked....

seven, sand, norwood and kidney

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